We've seen it time and time again, getting back with an ex, sometimes against your better judgment. It didn't work with Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult, Sienna Miller and Jude Law or Jennifer Lopez and Casper Smart, and here's why it probably won't work for you either.
On and off again relationships usually occur because of loneliness and familiarity of having someone at your side to speak to on a regular basis and share your time with, but what’s the point if you don’t actually love that person anymore?
Break-ups can be tough, they can take time and cause a lot of pain, but they’re usually worth that pain for a light at the end of the tunnel that leaves you as a happier person.
If you’re in the midst of considering getting back with your ex, take a look at these five reasons why you shouldn’t, and if you find yourself agreeing with the majority of them, well, you know what you need to do.
Table of Contents
5 reasons to not get back with your ex
Nothing has changed
The chances are the underlying problems that caused you to break-up are still there, so what’s the point of repeating your problems again and again? You’re wasting your time if you think you can start afresh without tackling the problems of the initial break-up.
People don’t make you happy
It’s not so much the effect a person physically has on you that makes you happy, but rather the perception you have of them. When we think about people our mind is more likely to conjure up all of the good memories and put a hazy cloud of the bad bits. The chances are when you get back together, the negative thoughts will flood you and make you panic. It might be worth writing a list of all of their bad points and seeing if you can work past them or not – it’s hard to change other people remember.
If you’re getting back together after a period of time there’s every chance that your ex has been with someone else, and they’ve had every right too. But can you handle the thought of that, the jealousy and panic that anyone they speak to could have been the middle person between you and them?
Trying to find a new partner can be hard work, it takes a lot of effort, can sometimes be a little uncomfortable and first dates can be particularly awkward, so it’s no wonder you want to go back to someone who already knows you inside and out. But, it’s easy to fall into the same traps that your relationship has already been through. Don’t let yourself get sucked into the idea that just because something is well-known it’s inherently better than the other options out there. The butterflies you get when you meet someone new can be pretty amazing too.
There are plenty more fish in the sea
It might take some time, but the chances are you’re going to find love again and falling back into a relationship that isn’t healthy is much worse for you than spending some time alone.
What to do when you break up - Use the no contact period
If you’ve recently broken up with your partner it’s important that you both agree upon a 30-day no contact period in order for you to get your mind into perspective and if you’re speaking to them constantly then this isn’t going to happen. Fill your time by working on you, whether it’s fitness, a new hobby or spending more time with friends, and you’ll find that your mind is much clearer and you’ll be able to judge the break-up properly.