The trait needed to make a relationship last

Taryn Davies
Published: December 29, 2016

Relationships take a lot of hard work, and can often require a lot of tongue biting too, but science suggests that it there is only one trait needed to make your relationship last.

Keeping that spark alive all comes down to a personality trait, kindness.

The survey from EliteSingles asked 490,000 people to rate the importance of certain quality in their potential match, and kindness came out on top.

Beating out emotional connection, and sexual compatibility, 62% of men considered kindness to the most important trait a partner can have.

However, the results show that women consider sex appeal more important than men do. The results show that 57% of men think that sexual compatibility is of utmost importance, whereas 60.5% of women value a partner’s bedroom prowess very highly.

However, kindness was still the leading trait for women too with 81% of the vote.

“It’s not surprising that ‘kindness’ is the most important attribute in a potential partner,” says Salama Marine, in-house relationship psychologist at EliteSingles. “After couples have been together for a while, they can begin to lose respect for each other. They tend to become careless with how they speak to one another and this can seriously harm the relationship.”

How to show kindness in your relationship

The trait needed to make a relationship last

Making a conscious effort to make each other happy is important in any relationship

Relationships take work, so there's no need to roll your eyes at the thought of these tips. Take the advice and apply it your relationship, you could start the new year in the best possible way.

Do things that require effort, planning and a little bit of sacrifice. It shows you are putting the other person first.

If you both have a list of kind acts that you appreciate, then follow the list. Having set ideas can definitely help you express acts of kindness. You will make mistakes along the way, but you keep trying.

Showing a little compassion shouldn't be so hard. Yet in many relationships, people forget that one small loving gesture—or many—can go a long way. We get busy and stressed. We take each other for granted. It isn't easy to stifle our own agenda and put our partner's first.

It's important not to expect payback, other than a thank you. You're not supposed to trumpet what you are doing.

To improve relationships, you need time to be together, to converse, to play, to develop trust in friendship, make love, share things, take walks, sit and talk for a few minutes daily, share a hobby, watch a program together, laugh and play, or just about do anything together.

You need to understand the feelings, emotions, and care about the other person. And remember, intimacy flourishes when here is lightness of being, not when everything is heavy