How to fix a sexless marriage

Taryn Davies
Published: September 28, 2016

A 'sexless marriage' is the most Googled phrase when it comes to sex and marriage, so it’s important you know how back to get into the physical aspect of your relationship.

Author Seth Stephens-Davidowich says that the phrase 'sexless marriage' is Googled more than terms like unhappy or loveless marriage, and the report starts that close to 22,000 people are searching for the term 'sexless marriage' every single month.

But yet they’re still a little taboo.

It can be physically unhealthy to be in a sexless marriage, never mind the emotional toll it takes. Your self-esteem takes a beating over the neglect of physical contact from your loved one.

How to fix a sexless marriage

Is the lack of sex bringing tension to your relationship?

Couples can stop having sex for a variety of different reasons, but the main one is that you've accepted this as normal.

If you aren't having sex and neither of you is trying then it can be difficult to set up a new routine.  However, this can be easily fixed just as long as you are both happy together and willing to try to make it work.

James Preece, the UK’s top dating coach, and dating expert, shares his tips and advice on how to fix a sexless marriage.

How to fix a sexless marriage

1) Bring the Romance back

It's too easy to get stuck doing the same things over and over. Mix things up a bit and tell each other how much they mean to you.  Pick one night a week which you'll make a regular date night.

Then you can take turns to surprise each other with some fun new activities or going to new places.  Quite often all it takes is a change of scenery to bring the spark back.

2) Take things slowly

If it's a been a while, you might be feeling nervous about having sex together.  There's no need to throw each other around the room or outdo the Kama Sutra.  Be gentle with each other and take your time.  If you go from nothing to once a week it's still huge progress.

3) Learn to Relax

Stress and lack of sleep can do great damage to relationships and sex lives.  You both need to work hard to make sure you learn to deal with this or it could impact your health.  Small changes in your diet, exercise routine or lifestyle could make all the difference. You'll be happier, healthier and hornier.

couple talking

The best thing you can do is talk about it and address the situation

4) Don’t DIY

If you aren't having sex then chances are you are probably getting your thrills on your own. However, this can be damaging as you might prefer to masturbate rather than have sex with your partner.  So if you want to make it work, you have to cut this out.  That way you'll be much more turned on when you are together.

5) Talk about what’s happening

If there are deeper reasons why you've stopped having sex then you absolutely need to discuss them.  Maybe it's trust issues, lack of confidence or something else.  Set aside a time to have a calm chat about what's really going on.

You want to both be on the same page so it's better to get your thoughts and concerns out in the open.